now or never, leaving corporate America

It's been a long time. 2016??? Where have the years gone, it's been 4 whirlwind ones since last I attempted a blogpost. What's been going on? Well, let's see.  I sold my house. I quit my job.  I enrolled in cosmetology school. I cut all my hair off and dyed it blue. 

 

 Cosmetology school? Yep, you read it right. I could no longer stand living and working in the corporate world. Honestly, I hated my job. It sucked so bad it's not even funny. It sucked the life right out of me. Day by day, little by little. I had plenty of money to show for it. I was literally selling my soul for money. Corporate America is full of pushers exploiting people's fears of failure and of rejection, convincing them they are lucky to have what they do,  they can't survive without it, and that the attainment of property, the making and spending of money, at the cost of their identities, if that's what it takes, is necessary for them to have not only what they want to be happy, but what they need to make them successful. Is it really, though? Every time I got something Society told me I wanted, it did not make me feel happy for very long. There was always something else I was going to need after that in order to keep me feeling comfortable and secure. It was not fulfilling like it was supposed to be, to be so comfortable and secure. It was driving me mad, really. Is that really all there was to life? Being comfortable and secure? i looked around at everything I had, everything that was supposed to be fulfilling to me and I realized, corporate America ate my brain. The rat race took the real me and replaced it with a phony personality that fit in. But guess what? Money ain't everything, and that's cliche because it's true. So for the moment, I'm an unemployed beauty school student living out my wildest dream, the one where I'm a starving artist instead of an emotionally starved but financially secure rat racer living in the suburbs, working my ass off at a mediocre career for some medial brained middle manager who actually DID think the suburbs were somehow cool. Are you serious with your name badge on a lanyard? I do not belong here. I do not fit in. I  give up. I embrace my own strangeness.  Am I having a midlife crisis? Maybe. I guess that depends on who you ask. Most people would probably say yes, but the truth is, I was having an identity crisis long before midlife began. I'm a woman, an artist, a dreamer, and not someone willing to settle for what money can buy, or someone else's convoluted description of what should make me happy. I want so much more than that from this one short, random life. So, it's now or never. That's how life is, you live it now, or never.